Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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