I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
