That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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