my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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