$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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