we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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