i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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