At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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