Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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