I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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