My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
