u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
