I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have aggressive nipples.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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