p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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