Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
