I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
