I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
