Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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