Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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