this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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