Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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