summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
