Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
