why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
