FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And then my night got REAL pukey
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