someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
