FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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