I want to make a zoo with you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
