So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
