I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
