Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I need to stop coming to work sober
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize