I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you win again, gameday.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
