nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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