i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
