Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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