went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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