**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
