no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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