is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
