Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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