I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm really into asian looking animals
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
