I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
