Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
