i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
