He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
