Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
