I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my being single is dangerous.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
