Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize