I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
