I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
