I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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