i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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