And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
