What did we do last night that was yellow?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
