that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
