where does the pee come out of this thing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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