she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
