You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
