morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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