I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
