I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
