Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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