your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
