do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
