i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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