this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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