Having a random hookup so left but love u
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
