Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
