sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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