I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Couch. On fire.
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