omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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