thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I smell stomach acid.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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