3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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